July Message from Conference Minister Tyler Connoley
At our Mods Meeting, CPC Moderator Lea Mathieu asked us to pray together by each speaking what we wanted for our country. She said, “Lately, I’ve been trying to focus on what I love instead of what I hate:”
These days, too much of our culture conditions us to focus on what makes us angry or frightened or disgusted. Those emotions are easy to inflame for people and corporations seeking clicks, likes, and views. It takes more time to remember what we love (so it’s less lucrative for attention-based media), but in the long run it’s worth it.
When focusing on what we love, we may first thrash around a bit. We may find our opening thought is a negative frame. (“I love politicians that don’t attack trans people.”) We may have to explore a little more, poking at the desire that’s underneath that negative. (“I love my gender-queer self, and want to thrive.”) At our Executive Meeting, began by saying things like, “I want our country to stop doing…” and then later came back to rephrase, “I want our country to start doing…”
If our nervous system is inflamed, we may also need to take the time to let our emotions and thoughts settle like the storm in a snow globe, before we can even begin to see what we love amidst the plastic flakes. We may need to find exercises and other supports that can actively calm our anxiety.
As you may know, I live with subclinical depression and anxiety, which gets worse in the spring (or with too much social media), and which sometimes needs pharmaceutical support. Besides those medical interventions, I’ve found that cyclic sighing, a simple breathing exercise, can help me focus when my mind is racing away from love toward fear and hate. This is especially true on nights when I’m trying to fall asleep after a terrifying news day. As you seek to focus on what you love, try adding cyclic sighing. Scientists say it can’t hurt you, and it very likely could help. It’s certainly something that settles my snow globe.
At the end of our prayer time, the Moderators, Treasurer, and I found ourselves more grounded for the business we needed to do. I personally found myself more energized than I would have been if we had been invited only to name the ills in our world that needed fixing.
In these trying times, I invite you to follow the example of our Moderator Lea, try (simply try) to focus on what you love. Look for the desire underneath your disgust. Look for the compassion inside your anger. Practice breathing. And hopefully you’ll have more energy to continue being the Church God needs for this time and this place.
Blessings,
Tyler
