Trust
I trust you. That may seem strange to say, since I have so little contact with many of you. However, trust is the bedrock of my work as Conference Minister.
I trust Search Committees to know their churches better than I do, and to listen to God with their community as they discern with candidates. I trust pastors and local church members to care for the people in their community. I trust chaplains to be the ambassadors of Christ’s love in hospital rooms and care facilities.
I trust you with the lives of my dearly beloved siblings in your communities. Just as I accept your trust that I will care for your siblings who live close to me.
This pandemic year has taught us a lot about trust, and some of us are struggling to live into the trust we need to get through this winter. The virus that causes COVID-19 is invisible, so we often can’t know if our family or neighbors are infectious. That encourages distrust. We also have leaders and pundits in our country who encourage us to distrust one another, which makes all of this much harder.
In my ministry in the conference setting, I’ve learned a couple things about fostering trust, and I hope that what I’ve learned can help you during this long and distrustful winter.
First, I’ve learned to accept that I can’t know other people’s motives unless they tell me, so it’s best to believe their motives are as pure as my own. I know this is counterintuitive, but I have found it to be one of the most powerful tools in my toolbox of trust. I learned it from studying Dr. King and the affirmations he required of the Selma marchers — and it truly works.
If we can trust that we all want to be healthy, then we can trust that we can find a way to be healthy together. Even if I don’t understand why you think doing church in that way is a good idea, I can trust that you wouldn’t intentionally harm yourself or others. With that as a bedrock, we can seek ways of doing church this Holiday Season that are healthy for all of us.
Second, I’ve learned that when I’m honest, it inspires honesty. And honesty fosters trust. You might be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t) to learn how powerful the impulse to be dishonest is for me as a Conference Minister. Often people look to me to be an expert on things I’m not expert in. Other times, there are things I know that are not confidential, but I just think it would be easier for people not to know. However, I’ve learned that if I follow my best instincts, and tell people the truth as fully as I can, then we end up sharing honestly together, and we can trustingly come to better solutions together.
With the pandemic, there are a lot of things we don’t know. It can be tempting to bluster our way through, insisting we’re experts when we aren’t. It can also be tempting to sometimes think, “What they don’t know won’t hurt them.” or “I can’t let people know I might have been exposed. Who is going to lead the service!?” But the fact is that we can get through this better if we foster trust with our honesty. If you don’t know the right thing to do, then say that, so others can help you come up with a plan. If you have information that others might need, please share it. And, if you’re feeling uncomfortable with a particular path, speak that truth too. We need your honesty, because that’s our best path to trust, which is our best hope for this pandemic winter.
The next few months are going to be tough. Please be good to one another. Do the things we know help: Wear a mask; limit your contact; social distance; and wash your hands.
Also, do what you can to foster trust. I need to be able to rely on you, and I want you to be able to rely on me. The spring is coming. And, together, we will make it to a future where we can sing, dance, and hug one another once again.
As always, thank you for being the church for this time and this place.
Blessings,
Tyler
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